defining friendship

Welcome to Advice Al Amore! We're not quit sure what that means, but whatever the case you can be sure you are getting the best possible dating advice... anywhere. End of story. Trust us.

Our first question comes from a gal who goes by the name Hannah when it comes exposing her personal life on the internet, and here it is:

I was out and about on V day when I received a call from my mother saying someone had dropped of roses at the house. She wasn't sure who the boy was, but we both assumed that my boyfriend had hired someone. Wrong. The roses were from a friend. Emphasis on friend. A friend who knows I have a boyfriend. A friend who knows I have a boyfriend, and that I am not interested. The note read "Because I like you more... J". Not even man enough to sign his full name, and the dot dot dot... what is that? It gets worse because cutting him off completely is simply not an option. We practice our music together regularly. In fact, we will be performing at a friend's wedding soon.... together... singing a song about marriage and undying devotion. I have two questions:

#1. What is the best way to teach J a valuable lesson on the importance of boundaries, yet sill preserve the friendship?
#2. What the hell?

Both good questions. The best way to show J exactly where you're coming from would be to have a mysterious friend deliver a box of poop to his porch with a note that reads, "because I like him better...H".

Okay, so maybe a bag of poop doesn't scream "friends forever!", and since you have the desire (or a necessity) to stay on speaking terms with "J" maybe a box of donuts would do the trick. Donuts = friends.

Make it day-old glazed donuts. That way he knows you like him, but only enough to buy him un-frosted donuts at a discounted rate. Day old donuts = friends with boundaries.

Basically the most important thing is to get the point across that friends do not deliver flowers to friends on Valentines Day, with the hopes you will drop your boyfriend and run into his open arms. He needs you to define friends. He needs this definition. He needs you to find him a girlfriend.

Best of happiness to you and the real boyfriend,
T.G.