Woah!!! It has been way way too long since we posted! What is with this?! Well... I think one of the many reasons is that I got married a month ago! Gasp! Me!? Married?! So now I do think that I am an expert love advice giver. Wouldn't you agree? I mean, I snagged one myself... so you should be able to too!

We would love to answer any questions that anyone has! Just submit them to: tildymeg@gmail.com. We will answer them in as timely of a manner as possible. (No, not three months. We'll try to be better than that!)

Anyways, hope everything is going well in the dating world!!!

xoxo

meg

ethical ditching

Due to the lack of blog popularity we maintain here at Advice al Amore I have personally received zero questions from current, or perspective daters. To remedy this situation I have turned to the one person I know who needs my dating advice the most. Myself. Surprised? I know, right? I give the greatest advice, and yet I'm still single and dateless. I don't understand it either. Maybe the question that I found in my brain today will give everyone reading a small glimpse into the world of me, and the reason I give the advice, instead of live the advice. I asked myself, I said:

Dear Self,

You usually find yourself on dates , where the only thing on your mind is all the other places you'd rather be. Most likely you'd rather be watching 10 p.m. reruns, than stuck in a one-on-one situation with whomever. You envision yourself running towards the nearest exit to recover whatever solitary peace of mind you have left. You have never left a date early, but you imagine there are circumstances that would condone such an action. On what conditions, if any, are you allowed to politely ask to be excused to the restroom, and never return?

So, in response to myself I have come up with a list of actions, red-flags, and words that, if used, justify me leaving in a swiftly manner. The things listed below will excuse me from suffering through pointless dating in the future. For future reference, I will be keeping a copy in my wallet. I encourage you to do the same.

• An age difference of 9 or more years presents itself.
  
• There's a 50% chance you saw him slip something into your drink
  
• Is that eyeliner?... no, it can't be... but... yes, it is.
  
• You're pretty sure there is an attempt to play footsies going on under the table.
  
• He brings up his Yugioh card - scratch that, any kind of card, collection.
  
• Two words: miniature golfing.
  
• His last name rhymes with your first name.
  
• Something tells you that you've met him once before... possibly at a family reunion.
  
• "I'm looking for someone with a little more... marriage potential."
  
• He uses the word "panties" in any form, in any sentence, in any way.
  

(Most of these situations apply to first dates, but there are a few that can also apply to as far in as the 4th date. A guy may seem perfectly normal, and then he'll show up on your 4th date wearing eyeliner. Run.)

<3,
Taren

taking the blind out of blind date

Taren here! I will be taking care of a question we received from a Ms. Francis Billabong.

Dear T.G. and M.C.

My friend wants to set me up with this guy. I don't know that I'm okay with being set up with some stranger. I trust my friend, but how can I be sure that he won't be some freak-show?

Signed,
Completely Confused

Dear Completely Confused a.k.a. Francis,

I'm not going to sugar coat this. Numbers don't lie, and the fact of the matter is 80% of set ups are freak-shows, because 80% of people don't need to be set up. You do that math. I'll do it for you: there is an 8 out of 10 chance this guy is a poorly dressed, socially awkward gamer, who hasn't left his basement in weeks.

I found an answer within your question (I'm pretty good at what I do). You said: "I trust my friend". I guess that is all you can do at this point...

WRONG!!!

Wrong wrong wrong on so many levels. In today's world (and considering the previously mentioned statistics) you must be absolutely sure!

There is a simple 8-step solution to your problem:
1. Myspace stalk him.
2. Facebook stalk him.
3. Google him.
4. If the first three steps yield little or no results, get his address.
5. If one or more of steps 1-4 work out and he has... neck hair, a Voltzwagon Bug, listed "girls" and/or "cuddling" in his interests, or his shoes are laced too tight, just say no!
6. Tell your friend to get a 3 page essay from him, entitled "Why You Should Date Me."
7. Only be available to go out at 9 a.m. This will weed out all potential Dungeons & Dragons addicts.
8. Request a urine sample.

If he passes, there is a 30% chance you will enjoy yourself.

Happy dating!
Taren

I think that 'advice al amore' might possibly mean something about 'advice on love' but I could be wrong. Anyways I'm glad to be contributing to such an uplifting blog as this. I'm especially proud to be helping the young and old girls of our world navigate through the perilous journey that we call love.

For my first question I decided to answer a girl who thinks she may possibly have been played. We've all been there and we all know how it feels so read on and possibly get some advice yourself.

So there's this guy... I met him at the gym. He's.... hot! The week after we met he asked me to hang out/go out almost every day and I sadly had to refuse because I really was busy all those days. Finally he asked me out for Friday... a week later... and I was able to go to dinner with him. We had a great time and I thought we hit it off. The next week I asked him to go on a double date with me and my friend and her date. He said that he could but he had to get home early to do homework (it was a Wednesday) so we just went to dinner.

And then I waited for him to call me/text me/face book me... anything to show he had some interest in me!! So finally I wrote on his wall on facebook jus to remind him that I owed him a jamba juice (I lost a bet we made). He finally wrote on my wall and said, 'yes you do. maybe as soon as you have some free time?' and so I messaged back saying, 'well what about Thursday?' and he said, 'Thursday is perfect.'

Then he texted me asking me to hang out that night, well before our Thursday 'date' at Jamba Juice. I told him that I would come over after I went to the gym. So later that night I was over at his apartment and we were watching a movie and cuddling. It was really cute and I had butterflys in my stomach. And then.... he kissed me!!!!!

So my question is, oh wonderful advice givers, what does this mean? Does he like me? Or was he just using me to 'get some'? I need to know! It's killing me!!!

Sincerely,

Possibly Played in Provo

Dear Possibly Played,

Was he a good kisser? This is a relevant question because if he is he may have kissed more than his fair share of girls. If he's not then he may possibly really like you and had to step out of his comfort zone to kiss you! And what if he was an okay kisser you ask? This is where it gets tricky.

Okay kissers have probably kissed an okay amount of girls and you may be worried that he may just be trying to up his count. You know, to look 'manly' in front of his friends. Or he possibly has only kissed girls that he actually had 'things' for and you may be the next 'thing'.

I think you're going to need to wait and see how things play out. If you guys end up going out to get a Jamba Juice on Thursday then I would say that is a good sign. If he texts you in the next couple of days it is also a good sign. But don't put yourself too far out there. Don't text or call him! It's his job now!

Hopefully this works out for you! But if not don't despair. There are thousands of young eligible college age students in Provo. I'm sure you'll find 'the one' soon.

Humbly,

Your M.C.

defining friendship

Welcome to Advice Al Amore! We're not quit sure what that means, but whatever the case you can be sure you are getting the best possible dating advice... anywhere. End of story. Trust us.

Our first question comes from a gal who goes by the name Hannah when it comes exposing her personal life on the internet, and here it is:

I was out and about on V day when I received a call from my mother saying someone had dropped of roses at the house. She wasn't sure who the boy was, but we both assumed that my boyfriend had hired someone. Wrong. The roses were from a friend. Emphasis on friend. A friend who knows I have a boyfriend. A friend who knows I have a boyfriend, and that I am not interested. The note read "Because I like you more... J". Not even man enough to sign his full name, and the dot dot dot... what is that? It gets worse because cutting him off completely is simply not an option. We practice our music together regularly. In fact, we will be performing at a friend's wedding soon.... together... singing a song about marriage and undying devotion. I have two questions:

#1. What is the best way to teach J a valuable lesson on the importance of boundaries, yet sill preserve the friendship?
#2. What the hell?

Both good questions. The best way to show J exactly where you're coming from would be to have a mysterious friend deliver a box of poop to his porch with a note that reads, "because I like him better...H".

Okay, so maybe a bag of poop doesn't scream "friends forever!", and since you have the desire (or a necessity) to stay on speaking terms with "J" maybe a box of donuts would do the trick. Donuts = friends.

Make it day-old glazed donuts. That way he knows you like him, but only enough to buy him un-frosted donuts at a discounted rate. Day old donuts = friends with boundaries.

Basically the most important thing is to get the point across that friends do not deliver flowers to friends on Valentines Day, with the hopes you will drop your boyfriend and run into his open arms. He needs you to define friends. He needs this definition. He needs you to find him a girlfriend.

Best of happiness to you and the real boyfriend,
T.G.